Aishiteru

a passion that erupts in my body
every time you touch me
a captivating, mind blowing experience
words can not explain
so i ran from these feelings
and tucked them far away
I hid from this passion
& called you my friend
but every time we talked
my heart wanted to explode
& every time we hugged
my body disappeared into Ecstasy
my very little heaven on earth
now this passion inside me
contiunes to grow and grow
And I was not sure how much longer
I could hold it in & pretend
Now others are starting to notice the passion too
& speak upon some even speak upon it in front of you
but i laugh it off
& try to push the passion the aside
to that faithful night
where I asked
if you had the passion too
and with your simple yet complex reply
i wiped the tears from my eyes
and i'm relieved to find
you feel the exact same.
yet your not ready to act upon the passion
so i will push the passion aside
but when your ready
so am I
and our passions will be become one..
we will float to ecstacy
our little heaven on earth.

JanaiElizabeth.

who is this person you see
Janai Elizabeth
This is me
No more hiding
No more fake identity
exposing myself for the ones i love
take it or leave it
and if you leave theres no coming back
this is me
no more hiding
vunerable yet alive
scared yet free
this is me
no hiding behind another identity
this is me
Sometimes my hair isn't done
Sometimes my nail polish is chipped
but this is me
I cry because I can
I laugh because its funny
this is me
I put my into every relationship
into every friendship
i have battle wounds on my heart
from old lovers
backstabbing friends
and this is me
take it or leave
but if you leave there is no coming back
this is me
no more hiding behind another identity
Janai Elizabeth
for all the world to see.

Some Deep Ish.. [coming from a silly girl]

IF YOU WERE TO DIE TODAY..HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE REMEMBERED?
The crazy thing is I dont even know the answer to my own question.
My friends would say I was fun, goofy, always offering advice, the outgoing one. The one who kept the party going. My church friends would say she was the one who had a strong faith and she always wanted to help others in their quest for faith. My parents would say she was good daugher.. although she slipped up every now and then she never gave up. She always respected our wishes and love us no matter what punishments we gave her. My teachers would say Janai was a social butterfly although at times she may have been lazy she was an amazing student always eager to learn. My boo would say Janai is one of the sweetest people I know she always cares and offers you all the love she has no matter what.
But truly in the end is that all I will be remembered for.. being funny and goofy, having faith, being a good daughter, being a good student, and loving people. Isn't that what Im suppose to do? In the bible it says love your neighbors. And that is what I like to think I have been doing although sometimes I slip I do.. No matter what people do to me I always love and care about them. But I feel as if I havent left a impact on the world. Im not saying I want to be this amazing celebrity but Im saying I want to leave a impact. I want to change someone's life. Something I fear more than death is being FORGOTTEN. I always want someone to be like hey I remember that girl..she was [insert here]! I don't want it to be like who in the hell is that? Being forgotten is almost like being without a purpose. If you are forgotten then what the point of you living? Today I realized that life is short and at any time God can blink and your life can taking away. Before you go dont you want to leave an impact on someone's life.
SO MAKE EACH DAY YOUR LAST.
SMILE A LITTLE
GIGGLE A LITTLE
LOVE ALOT
BE THE PERSON THAT CHANGES SOMEONE'S LIFE FOREVER.
What is the purpose of living if you don't make the world better for someone else?

2008 [i cant say imma miss it]

So this year was a BIG year for me. I met some amazing and life changing people. I fell in love, fell out of love, fell back in love, and going into 2009 I'm still in love. Now back to the part about meeting some amazing people. Ok for starters I met this person back in like March over myspace. I know I know.. big eye roll on that one. But we had common friends blah blah..so that is how the conversation started. I thought he was cute and funny. I guess he thought I was cute too. So then I got my phone around June and that is when we started texting and talking on the phone but again we just friends. I'm talking about my pooh bear Darren. He means so much to me. He is always there for me when shit gets out of hand. He knows I have nothing but love for him.. =] The second person I met him around May..the 18 to be exact. I will never forget him or the days we shared during the summer. May 24 first kiss. May 29 first day we chilled outside of work. May 30 the day we became official. June 20th the day we broke up cuz of some bullshit. July 11 the day he came back from Italy and stole my heart again. July 24 the day I found out our whole relationship was a lie. August 9 the day everything became normal again and he realized he fucked up. And from then we've been best friends/my future hubby/ex/everything in between. This person is my heart and soul Rashad. We are just friends but as you can tell the bond is different.. its complicated its weird and I'm hiding it from my parents so ssshh.. lol. But enough about him now about my current relationship with MALCOLM. he is amazing, and he came completely out of no where. But he is changing my life as we speak lol.. I'm always with him like 50% of the time. And I'm growing to adore him more and more as each day goes on. I have alot of maturing to do as far as relationships go. But I'm getting there slowly but surely. 2008 isn't quite up yet so I'm going to probably have many more of these.

My best male friend

wow.. i love you very much you are the only guy on this whole planet that i trust with my life. We have been through soo many things but its ok cuz now that we've grown up and learned what for real friendship. you make me laugh like no other person on this planet and you offer me the best advice at my weakest moments. and its funny cuz ppl would never expect you to be that kind of person but you are. Idk what to say but i love you best friend.

What a interesting day

LIFE WILL HAND YOU SOME CRAZYYY SHIT.
idk what to do with it.
SOOOO IM GONNA JUST LET IT PLAY OUT.
follow my heart
I HOPE IT LEADS ME IN THE RIGHT PLACE
i hope it doesnt screw me over like it normally does
WOW..IM CONFUSED
someone pray for my soul
BUT I HAD AN AMAZING BUS RIDE HOME
hehe..im not telling you.. my lips are sealed

Keep Him I'm Done.

hahaha...terrence i wrote this to you in 10th grade hahahaha..

How could go and put that girl b4 me
How could go and pretend u don’t care
How could stand besides even though I was always there
I had your back through thick and thin
Held you down before your “girlfriend”
Now you sprung out
And your cant come out your mouth and hold me down
Without a doubt
Forgave u for the anger u once made me feel
U messed up my relationship lets keep it real
But I forgave you
And this is how u want
For sum trick
She aint gonna marry you
She aint gonna have your kids
Its for the time being
Not for eternity
Except you rep her
Like you rep your streets
I can’t hold back anymore
The tears wanna come out
But I refuse to cry
Stand around and pout
Our friendship is over
I’mma let them know
He’s all about himself
So you can have him HOE!